Alive With Such Possibilities

Ryan has been listening to this one song all week. It is not Christian, but the chorus still sums up our feelings as we prepare for our coming week in Mexico:
"I don't know what tomorrow brings.
It is alive with such possibilities.
All I know is I feel better when I sing.
Burdens are lifted up from me.
That's my voice rising."
How true. None of us know what tomorrow brings. Anything could happen, anything could be. It could even be the end. At the thought of that may our voices, my voice, Ryan's voice rise in praise to our great God!! Rise in praise as we prepare to leave.
Our bags are packed. The children are in bed. Ryan and I were going to go to bed right after the kiddos, but I know now there is no sleep for me tonight. By 5 AM we will be at the Atlanta airport, luggage in tow, children half asleep, preparing to board for Texas. Once in Texas we will be greeted by James, one of the missionaries from Isaiah 55, and he will take us across the border to Reynosa, Mexico. Our family's missionary adventure is beginning. Full speed ahead. It seems a long time ago that Ryan and I had our first conversation about this possibility. And now, the night before we leave to be informally interviewed, it seems no time at all has passed. It seems we are caught up in a whirlwind. And as you would expect there are too many emotions to even talk about. We feel fear of rejection, excitement to serve, delight in the possibilities that are ahead for us, confused to think that this may be the end of the adventure even as it feels like the start. We are aware that we may post pictures from this trip and then find out that for whatever reason, the answer is no. It is so hard to put yourself out there. To offer your heart and take a chance and know that we are in someone else's hand. It is not just up to us. Many have sweetly expressed the sentiment that any group would be lucky to have us join their team and come to serve. I am deeply moved by this idea. My pride is tempted to raise its head. Though I mostly believe it to be Ryan that is the commodity. No, I am all too painfully aware of my sin to think all too highly of myself. If I have anything to offer, if Ryan has anything to offer it is because of the grace of Christ in us. If He should choose to use us for one week, or for ten years, how humbling is the thought! Christ does not need Ryan and Karen Culbertson to move the nations to Himself. But if He should choose to use us may we be willing to answer the call, whatever it may be. Whether in Reynosa, Bulgaria, Cambodia, or back here in Greenwood, SC. This decision is not in our hands. Thankfully, it is in God's hands.
I have been reading "The Lion, The Witch, And The Wardrobe" to the kids. Tonight we read about Aslan as he made the journey back to the Stone Table to be sacrificed by Jadis in Edmund's place. Lucy and Susan cannot sleep and so they see Aslan steal out of the pavilion and into the wood. So they follow him and are, of course, discovered. "Please, " Susan says, "May we come with you - wherever you are going?" Oh, my Lord. Yes. Please, may I come with you. And then, as if yes were not enough, Aslan asks the girls to put their hands into his mane so he can feel them. Oh the intimacy of that request. I could barely finish the passage. Please, Abba, may I come with you - wherever you are going?

Karen