The Tie That Binds

We are back from Mexico, and I want to update all of you on our trip. But I am finding this blog difficult to write. This week has been full of emotions, most of which are difficult to put into words. Not to mention that I don't feel that I can rightly sum up for my whole family. So, what did we do? That is a good place to start. We worked. Ryan did some welding and put vinyl decals on the mission's trucks, vans and trailers. I assisted with his work and painted, folded a few towels, helped with meals when possible. The kids played, and played, and played - at the work site, at Casa Verde (Isaiah 55's home base), all the time. I spent a lot of time watching them and praying for everything. And there was a lot to pray for. The town of Reynosa is a town in the midst of dark times. The drug cartels are at war and the people are in fear. No one wants to travel at night. Border guards want to know why in the world you want to cross into Reynosa, or why any of the missionaries would choose to live in Reynosa. The climate has changed. But my impression is that the border has never been like the rest of Mexico anyway. It is a different beast. Not the vacation destination most Americans think of when Mexico comes to mind. Truth be told, it is ugly. Buildings are in ruble, trash is everywhere, the poverty is evident and in your face. In fact my first impression, never having been out of country at all, was Oh No! Can I do this? I felt painfully American. But within hours of getting to Casa Verde and having a chance to settle into our room, God began to quiet my heart. He used my own children to minister to my fears. As we came in to Reynosa I noticed every sad scene, cracked building, pile of trash. Ellie made comments about the pretty colors things were painted, how nice that girl looked, the trees and the flowers and even the pigeons! See waved and said "Hola!" to every national she met. John Thomas, who does not open up as quickly, took to Casa Verde like home. He was playing and happy, the same kid he would have been at home. When the work team began to arrive from Indiana and Illinois, both kids were so happy to see them, comfortable with being around them. They made fast friends. Within two days they had made favorites among the group and the whole work team loved on my kids. And of course by then all the staff of Isaiah 55 had arrived to Casa Verde from meeting the work team and getting supplies. My impression of them: Family. They loved each other and they loved us. They loved Ellie and John Thomas, which is the quickest way to my heart. By the end of the week my fears were gone. I was even attempting high school Spanish to communicate with the ladies that cook and clean at Casa Verde and some of the teachers also. And Ryan? He was happy, content, at peace. So now we will wait to hear back from I55 and see if their impressions are as favorable, and we will all pray for God to reveal His will to us. Waiting will be hard. Honestly I would have sent for my furniture if it could all work that way. And yet, I was also so touched by friends here in Greenwood. Not a day went by that we did not get a text or phone call from some friend or another, lifting us in prayer, encouraging us from scripture, just telling us they loved us. The blog page on Facebook jumped from 90 to 143 fans in the week we were gone. I could truly feel the prayers. Greenwood is not going to make it easy for us to leave. Yet I know this, the tie of Christians is a strong and quick bond. The work team from this week, a group of mostly college students all from the Apostolic Christian Church, made that bond very clear. They were so nice to us. They welcomed us into their group, invited us to worship and devotion, played with our kids, shared their hearts. And if you are unfamiliar with the AC Church, they worship differently from Presbyterian. Yet despite the difference it was a joy to live with them for the week, they are our family in God (as John Thomas says). As we were leaving on Thursday, they for the work site, our family for the airport, they sang us off. "Blessed be the Tie That Binds." It was so beautiful. Those people from Indiana and Illinois are my family now. Brent and James, Kimmie and Erin, Kate and Nono from the Mission are my family now. Erwin, Amalia, Moises, and Karina, the nationals who work with I55, are my family now!!! Because Christ is Christ no matter what church denomination, and no matter what country. Christ is Christ for the deaf and the hearing, for the ugly and the polished clean. And the tie that binds our hearts, binds them forever and ever. Amen.

Karen

Alive With Such Possibilities

Ryan has been listening to this one song all week. It is not Christian, but the chorus still sums up our feelings as we prepare for our coming week in Mexico:
"I don't know what tomorrow brings.
It is alive with such possibilities.
All I know is I feel better when I sing.
Burdens are lifted up from me.
That's my voice rising."
How true. None of us know what tomorrow brings. Anything could happen, anything could be. It could even be the end. At the thought of that may our voices, my voice, Ryan's voice rise in praise to our great God!! Rise in praise as we prepare to leave.
Our bags are packed. The children are in bed. Ryan and I were going to go to bed right after the kiddos, but I know now there is no sleep for me tonight. By 5 AM we will be at the Atlanta airport, luggage in tow, children half asleep, preparing to board for Texas. Once in Texas we will be greeted by James, one of the missionaries from Isaiah 55, and he will take us across the border to Reynosa, Mexico. Our family's missionary adventure is beginning. Full speed ahead. It seems a long time ago that Ryan and I had our first conversation about this possibility. And now, the night before we leave to be informally interviewed, it seems no time at all has passed. It seems we are caught up in a whirlwind. And as you would expect there are too many emotions to even talk about. We feel fear of rejection, excitement to serve, delight in the possibilities that are ahead for us, confused to think that this may be the end of the adventure even as it feels like the start. We are aware that we may post pictures from this trip and then find out that for whatever reason, the answer is no. It is so hard to put yourself out there. To offer your heart and take a chance and know that we are in someone else's hand. It is not just up to us. Many have sweetly expressed the sentiment that any group would be lucky to have us join their team and come to serve. I am deeply moved by this idea. My pride is tempted to raise its head. Though I mostly believe it to be Ryan that is the commodity. No, I am all too painfully aware of my sin to think all too highly of myself. If I have anything to offer, if Ryan has anything to offer it is because of the grace of Christ in us. If He should choose to use us for one week, or for ten years, how humbling is the thought! Christ does not need Ryan and Karen Culbertson to move the nations to Himself. But if He should choose to use us may we be willing to answer the call, whatever it may be. Whether in Reynosa, Bulgaria, Cambodia, or back here in Greenwood, SC. This decision is not in our hands. Thankfully, it is in God's hands.
I have been reading "The Lion, The Witch, And The Wardrobe" to the kids. Tonight we read about Aslan as he made the journey back to the Stone Table to be sacrificed by Jadis in Edmund's place. Lucy and Susan cannot sleep and so they see Aslan steal out of the pavilion and into the wood. So they follow him and are, of course, discovered. "Please, " Susan says, "May we come with you - wherever you are going?" Oh, my Lord. Yes. Please, may I come with you. And then, as if yes were not enough, Aslan asks the girls to put their hands into his mane so he can feel them. Oh the intimacy of that request. I could barely finish the passage. Please, Abba, may I come with you - wherever you are going?

Karen

Start the Countdown

Five, just five little days and we are on a plane to McAllen, TX to meet with and spend a week with the group at Isaiah 55. In a word, nervous! No, I need more words. Excited, scared, happy, anticipating, enthusiastic! Did I say nervous? What about excited?
Anyway, you get the picture. It is a whirlwind. So please, if you think of us this week, pray for our trip. We will be staying the week in Mexico and working some with Isaiah 55. This is also an informal time of interview for both parties. We will begin to see if we think we can truly find a place for ourselves there in the ministry being done in Reynosa. The folks from I55 will begin to see if they believe we should be there, if there is a service we are being called to among them and their current or future work. Please pray for wisdom for all of us. Also, pray for travel protection, and please pray for our safety in Mexico. There has been some trouble recently, shootings and such, so please pray for God's mercy. Not just for us, but for I55 staff and family, the people at the school, and for all of Reynosa, MX.
On a side note we have officially announced our intentions at church and with the people Ryan and I work with. So, feel free to invite anyone to visit the blog now. We appreciate all prayers and I would like to see this become a community not only in support of us, but also in support of Isaiah 55, MTW and wherever else this journey may lead us all together.
Thank you all so much for all your prayers and love so far!

Karen

The Trip That Started It All

It was the summer of 2009 when Ryan would join the group from Greenwood Presbyterian down to work in Reynosa, Mexico. Those five days would forever change the course of our lives. Funny thing is, Ryan really should not have been there. By that I mean, Ryan did not want to go and I did not want him to go. The trip leader had been asking for months if Ryan would think about going to work with Isaiah 55 for the week. But at the time we were trying to sell a house. A house we had been trying to sell for three years. "Tell you what," he said. "If we sell this house, I'll go with you to Mexico." Well, you can obviously guess just what God did. He sold our house. And so Ryan paid his deposit and went to Reynosa with all the rest. I could not talk to him all that week. I had no idea what he was doing, what was happening, how he was feeling. But I knew the moment I saw him at the end of the week that it had been very, very good. They had worked hard laying the footing for a perimeter fence and wiring a new house for other missionaries. Each night they would come together as a group and worship and learn. They woke up early, slept poorly, sweated through the heat both day and night. And they came home with incredible joy.
I was so excited for him ... at first. I soon began to feel left out of the whole experience. I knew that I had missed out on a mighty work. God had changed my husband in the span of five tiny days. How? Why couldn't I have been there to experience the same thing? But as more weeks passed from the time of the trip, and Ryan's renewal began to prove to be a true change from God and not just a "mountain top high", I was no longer jealous but only grateful. Grateful to see the amazing way that God can move in a person. Grateful that we go to serve only to discover that God does not really need us at all, yet delights to see us work His will, and be changed by it. So when Ryan said to me one night after the kids had been put to bed, "What if I said we should move to Mexico?" I said ok. And I meant it.

Karen