Big Thunder Mountain, Walt Disney & The Ride...

Thanks for joining the ride... What does it mean? You know, I wasn’t quite sure what I meant by that until our family trip to Disney World in March. It just sounded like something cool to say. Then after watching our son, John Thomas, ride Big Thunder Mountain for the first time, it all clicked.

All of the factors surrounding the ride pointed to disaster; it was his first roller coaster, it was at night; it was during the fireworks display; it had been a very, very long day. I glanced down at him as we were ascending the hill and his face was filled with fear. He’s short, so his field of vision was limited to what was above us and to the side. As we topped the hill, the cars released from the chain, we began the descent, and the fireworks began (The timing was quite amazing). His look of fear turned into terror and I began to envision the emotional maintenance that was in store after the ride was over. The ride came to an end and his look of terror & fear immediately turned into shear joy as he said, “Daddy, let’s do that again!” Which we did, four more times that night.

We have been on a ride for the past year, more often than not I have experienced the exact same feelings & emotions as John Thomas did on that roller coaster; fear not knowing what is in before of me, uncertainty of the next turn that will throw me from one side of the car to the other, being frightened as the fireworks explode overhead, terror as I see the world fly by to my sides. It is amazing how all of these things can be combined with the joy. Joy in knowing that the ride is good, joy in knowing that I am as “safe” as the Father wants me to be.

So with that,
Thanks for joining the ride,
Ryan

News Year Resolutions...in February

Better late than never, right. I have been very unfaithful to keep up with our blog. Let's face it, you only have to scroll one post beyond this to see I have not written an entry since November. Before that, September! I claim that the reason is busyness. I am not lying when I say we have been busy. Ryan is still working his regular job, serving as a deacon, helping with the Youth Group, leading worship in church almost every Sunday, and working on raising our support to go to the border. Me? I am homeschooling our two children, keeping our house, trying desperately to be a support and help mate to Ry. Phew! But I've claimed it before. Again, see last post. So maybe the real reason I have been so neglectful of our communication is fear. Sometimes, a lot of times, it feels there is nothing to share. Ryan talked to a pastor. I called someone to have dinner. We got $50 more dollars a month. And shame on me, I think too often, big deal. How dare I think such things about the provision of our Lord! As I say to the kids at times, you forget yourself, and I have forgotten myself. Truth is, I thought we would be farther along in the process. I thought we would be making plans to spend a month in New York this summer, plans to leave for Costa Rica and language school in the fall. Instead we hover at 10% of our total need. I am discouraged. Or at least, I have been. But, mercifully God is convicting, and will not allow us to stay in our sin. So before God and all of you who read this, I am so sorry. And so I make a resolution in February, more about my desire to trust God completely, than a goal to write my blog. My desire is that I will trust God so much that I would find something worthy to blog about everyday, even if I may not have the time to do exactly that!

Seeing Spots!

Why no blog posts for such a long time? Well, shortly after my last post, we found out Ellie had received a lead role in the Greenwood Community Theaters production of 101 Dalmatians! Very exciting stuff. She loved every minute of it. But I am here to tell you there were lots and lots and lots and lots of minutes to be enjoyed! It was all worth it. What an educational experience. Priceless.
These last few weeks balancing the requirements of being in the show with all the other things of life have been an education for Ryan and I as well. Certainly for me anyway! I had no idea how difficult it was going to be to make the time to do fund raising for the mission field in the midst of our family life. I mean by the time I have done the laundry, taught school, prepared for school, cooked and cleaned, done play dates and field trips...let's face it, I'm beat! And ofcourse Ryan is still working 8 hours a day as well as his continuing resbonsibilities at church with music, youth and the diaconate. Sound a little crazy to you? Feels a little crazy to me. It becomes very tempting to get discouraged. A temptation I am afraid to say I have given in to on more than one occasion over the last few weeks!
Please pray for us! With the holidays approaching, life is not slowing down. It is our desire and prayer that we could have the money raised to set off to language school fall of 2011. When I look at our MTW account my sinful self cries Impossible! Pray that we as a family will continue to trust in God for all things concerning our family life and the mission field. Pray we will look to His perfect timing and trust in His will and grace to us.


Ellie in full costume as Spot, one of the stolen puppies! Although the play added a lot of busyness to our lives, this smile on her face made it more than worth while!

Karen

More than Money...

Fundraising. It strikes fear in the heart of the would be missionary. Even if you say you're excited about it, there is some aspect of the process that is daunting. Is it the speaking in front of groups of people? Maybe keeping track of addresses and data is overwhelming? Maybe it is all the travel and staying with people you don't know? Maybe it is a fear, no matter how small, and maybe looming very large, that the money just won't come in? I must confess, I have felt all these fears. Ryan on the other hand, does seem to be genuinely excited about the process. Guess that makes a good pair. I fret, he calms me down. He is carefree, I make sure the necessary gets done! And so we get through this process bit by bit. At times it feels that we are getting no where. But... it is not true! We have had several opportunities recently to meet with people and speak at churches. And each time we do, it feels a little easier. Each time someone new decides to partner with us in our journey to Mexico, my heart fells lighter. And most important, I am seeing that fundraising is really such a misname. Yes, we are seeking funds. We can not go to Mexico without money. But I think partner-seeking may be a better name for what Ryan and I are doing. Last weekend Ryan and I were able to spend some time in Myrtle Beach with the congregation of Faith Presbyterian. I have no idea yet what the results of that may prove to be financially. I do know what the results have been for my heart. The couple we had the extreme joy of staying with truly were an answer to prayer. They shared more than their home, their shared their own hearts, their wisdom. They loved our children and in turn the kids loved them. they introduced us to their friends, invited us to everything they did during the weekend, even sent us on our way with a picnic lunch. Fundraising is about so much more than money.

Ellie and John Thomas with our new friends, the Scott's, from Faith Presbyterian.

Karen

A Foreign Address Does Not A Missionary Make

Some blog entries are hard to write. I have been sitting on this one for a week, trying to get up the courage and heart to write it, knowing I had to, but not knowing how I could do it.
Long before Ryan and I were called to Mexico, we had a different calling to work with Young Life Ministries to High School students. Even at that time, though still very comfortably in familiar settings, I considered myself a missionary. After all, is there anything so "foreign" as a high school lunch room. During the time that we served with Young Life we were privileged to help begin a program at Ninety Six High School here in South Carolina. We worked closely with an amazing and very unique bunch of kids. Strangely, as all American in appearance as Ryan and I are, we were drawn to and attracted the outer fringe kids. Kids who wore all black, pierced body parts and got tattoos, dyed their hair different colors. In other words, the outcasts, the misfits, the ones who wore their pain on their sleeves. We dealt with the drugged out, sexually permissive, the sad, the depressed and the angry. And we loved them!!!!
One of these precious souls became a particularly good friend of mine. Amanda and I share a similar, hurtful past. I was drawn to her immediately. God said almost audibly to me, "Seek her out, go to her!" I walked with her as she came in and out of hospitals for depression, anorexia, and attempted suicides. I touched her arms where she had cut herself mercilessly trying to make the pain inside go away. I took her to doctor's appointments and counseling sessions. More often than not it was hard, painful, and draining. But God continued to say go. Last week, the pain became more than she could stand any longer, and Amanda killed herself.
After six years of being out of Young Life, not seeing some of these kids since that time, and the others sporadically at best, they were thrust back into our lives. I didn't know if I wanted it. It scared me, and I hurt so bad over this loss. Guilt was crashing on top of me, anger, fear, sadness so intense I felt I could vomit. But once again I could hear God almost audibly say to me, "Go!"
I thought I was waiting to become a missionary, to move to Mexico so I could start ministry. I had forgotten. The hurting, broken and lost are all around us. Last week I became a missionary again. May I never forget...

Karen

Rain and The Changes It Brings

"We really need you to be flexible." This is the standard line delivered during the orientation of volunteer work teams by the Isaiah 55 staff. While it is always true that flexibilty is key, this phrase was never more true than during the week of July 17-24.

Several weeks before our trip to the border Hurricane Alex & Tropical Depression 2 dropped torrential amounts of rain up the Rio Grande Valley and into the mountains of eastern Mexico. The deluge filled reservoirs and forced hydro-electric officials to release massive amounts of water into smaller rivers that lead to the Rio Grande flooding the valley from Nuevo Laredo to Matamoros. The floodplains bordering the river in McAllen, Texas and Reynosa, Mexico were still eight feet under water two weeks after the initial flooding. These are areas that haven't bean flooded in 70 years.

Wes, Jess, & their 1 year old daughter, friends of Isaiah 55, are currently living at a property owned by the Isaiah 55 that is located near Boystown, the notorious walled portion of Reynosa that serves as homes to prostitutes and drug dealers. After flood waters covered a squatters camp near the border about 50 homeless individuals, between the ages of 6 months and 80+ years old, showed up at Wes' gate. Being the gentleman that he is, Wes invited them to stay.

This is the situation we walked into on Monday morning.

"Be flexible...”

Through out that day and the days that followed, I was able to have several conversations with a few of the folks staying there. The story I remember most was not told to me, but to a friend. So here is that story: Miguel was hoboing from one migrant farm job to another. As he went to jump off of the moving train he was caught between the wheels & tracks. In the process he lost a leg, below the knee. After being treated in a hospital in the States, he was deported. Driven to the border, dropped off, and basically told not to come back. He wound up at Wes' place after the squatters camp flooded. All Miguel had was his two crutches, a prosthesis made from a walking cast, and a shoe shine kit. At this, my friend expressed his sympathy. Miguel's response “Don't feel sorry for me. If I had three legs just like the one I lost, I would give them all to know Jesus.” Most of us who were there had conversations like these.

The point I want to return to is this... Be Flexible... Wes called Nono (Isaiah 55's team leader) on Sunday evening & explained the situation. Nono's response was not “Wes you need to find them somewhere else to stay” or “What were you thinking.” His response was “What do you need.”

This is the team Karen & I get to be a part of. A group of individuals whose call is to reach the deaf...and the deaf at heart.

Thanks for being part of the ride,

Ryan

Confession

We are half way through Ryan's week in Mexico with the team from Greenwood Presbyterian. And ... you guessed it: I miss him like crazy!!!!! I wish I was there. I wish he was here. I wish I was packing boxes to meet him there in some new little Texas house. Wish, wish, wish.
I am not complaining mind you. The kids have been wonderful (although Ellie does seem to have some summer crud.) God has graciously protected me from fear. Usually when Ryan leaves town, we do too, and head for Momma's. But not this week. We are sticking it out here and I have not had a moments pause about being in the house by myself. I have not been afraid for Ryan. I know he is in God's hands. And if I were to confess yet another thing, it has been kinda nice to have total pwer over the TV remote for a while (not that anything is ever on....).
Still, I miss him. I'm ready for him to come home so I can fix him dinner and talk to him about his day and tell him about mine. I want to wash his clothes. I want to hear his guitar. I want to see the kids rush into his arms and not want to let go. I plan to hold on for quite awhile myself.

Karen